As you probably could've guessed, due to recent history, the Twins are once again a hot, stinking pile of failure. Their season is almost like a train wreck that you can't look away from, in fear of missing something epically awful, but if you're not into that sort of thing.. Here's 14 equally enjoyable alternatives to watching a twins game.
1.) Listen to Packers fans chant "Go pack, go" on repeat in your car everywhere you go, for a week.
2.) Feed your grandparents bath salts
3.) Attend a Nickelback concert
4.) Dress as an adult baby in public for an entire day
5.) Listen to an entire Jehovah witness speak without interruption
6.) Watch 'Wide Left' on repeat for 3 hours
7.) Eat gas station sushi for lunch
8.) French kiss a lady Packer fan
9.) Listen to Donald Trump audio clips for 3 hours
10.) Watch every Adam Sandler movie back to back
11.) Dip your genitals in a fire ant mound
12.) Purposely contract swine flu
13.) Rinse your eyes out with Fireball whisky
14.) Stand in front of a Shea Weber slap shot, with no padding.